Chinese Takeout Bong
Water pipes & bongs
by Hemper
Chinese Takeout Bong by Hemper
The Chinese Takeout Bong is a novelty borosilicate glass water pipe from Hemper, shaped like a classic takeout box complete with a chopstick mouthpiece. Available in 6-inch and 9-inch sizes, it filters smoke through water for a cooler draw while doubling as the most ridiculous conversation starter on your coffee table. If your glass collection is looking a bit serious, this is the antidote.
Which Size Should You Pick?
| Variant | Height | SKU | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Small | 6 inches (approx. 15 cm) | HS2454 | Portable sessions, shelf display, travel bag |
| Large | 9 inches (approx. 23 cm) | HS2455 | Home use, bigger water chamber, smoother hits |
The 6-inch version tucks into a bag without fuss and sits discreetly on a shelf. The 9-inch gives you a larger water chamber, which means more cooling and filtration before the smoke reaches you. If you only smoke at home, we'd pick the 9-inch every time — the extra 3 inches of water volume makes a noticeable difference to how smooth each pull feels. If you want something you can chuck in a backpack for a mate's place, the 6-inch is the one.
Specifications
| Spec | Value |
|---|---|
| Brand | Hemper |
| Material | Borosilicate glass |
| Available sizes | 6 inches / 9 inches |
| Mouthpiece style | Chopstick-shaped tube |
| Joint type | Standard removable downstem with bowl |
| Filtration | Water diffusion |
| Design | Takeout box with printed graphics |
| SKU (6") | HS2454 |
| SKU (9") | HS2455 |
Complete your setup with a proper grinder and some pipe screens. A 4-piece herb grinder gives you an even, consistent grind that packs better in the bowl and burns more evenly. And if you're taking the 6-inch version on the road, a padded smell-proof bag keeps it safe and discreet between sessions.
Why the Chinese Takeout Bong Deserves a Spot in Your Collection
We've sold a lot of bongs over the years. Beakers, straight tubes, recyclers, percolator rigs that look like chemistry equipment — they all do the job. But none of them have ever made someone walk into a room and immediately say "what on earth is that?" the way a takeout box sitting on the table does. That's the point of the Chinese Takeout Bong. It works as a proper water pipe, but it also works as an object that makes people laugh, ask questions, and want to try it.
The glass itself is borosilicate — the same heat-resistant material used in lab equipment and the more expensive bongs on the market. It handles thermal shock far better than standard soda-lime glass, so you're not going to crack it by running hot water through it during cleaning. The chopstick mouthpiece is genuinely clever: it's a narrow tube that rises from the top of the takeout box, and you draw from it exactly like you'd sip from a straw. The narrow diameter means the smoke cools a bit more on its way up, which is a nice bonus you wouldn't expect from a novelty piece.
The honest limitation? It's a conversation piece first, a daily driver second. The water chamber on the 6-inch model is compact — you'll get decent filtration, but it's not going to rival a 14-inch beaker bong with a tree perc. The 9-inch model fares better here, with roughly 40-50% more water volume. If you want the smoothest possible hits and you're not fussed about portability, the larger size is the smarter buy. According to research published in PMC, water filtration in pipes does cool smoke and can alter the delivery of certain compounds during inhalation (Cobb et al., 2014). That said, water filtration doesn't eliminate all irritants — it reduces temperature and catches some particulates, but it's not a health device. Treat it as what it is: a fun, functional bong.
How to Use the Chinese Takeout Bong
- Fill the takeout box base with water through the top opening. Add enough so the bottom of the downstem is submerged by roughly 1-2 cm. Too much water and you'll get splashback through the mouthpiece; too little and you lose filtration.
- Grind your herb to a medium consistency. Too fine and it pulls through the bowl; too coarse and it won't burn evenly.
- Pack the bowl piece lightly — don't cram it in. Air needs to flow through the herb for proper combustion. A loosely packed bowl hits better than a stuffed one every time.
- Place your lips on the chopstick mouthpiece. Hold the lighter to the edge of the bowl (not the centre — corner lighting makes the bowl last longer) and inhale slowly.
- Once the chamber fills with smoke, lift the bowl from the downstem to clear the hit. Inhale the remaining smoke from the chamber.
- Exhale, and try not to laugh at the fact you just smoked out of a takeout box.
- After your session, pour out the water and rinse with warm water. For a deeper clean, use isopropyl alcohol and coarse salt — shake gently, rinse thoroughly, and let it air dry.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Chinese Takeout Bong made from real glass or plastic?
Borosilicate glass — the same type used in laboratory glassware. It's heat-resistant, durable, and far sturdier than the cheap soda-lime glass you find in bargain-bin bongs. You can feel the difference in weight the moment you pick it up.
Can I use the 6-inch Chinese Takeout Bong as a travel bong?
Yes, the 6-inch version at roughly 15 cm tall fits easily in a backpack or bag. Wrap it in a cloth or use a padded case to protect the chopstick mouthpiece during transport. It's one of the better portable novelty bongs we carry.
How do I clean the Chinese Takeout Bong?
Pour out the water after each session. For regular cleaning, rinse with warm water. For a proper deep clean, fill it with isopropyl alcohol (90% or higher) and a tablespoon of coarse salt, shake gently for 30-60 seconds, then rinse thoroughly with warm water. The printed graphics won't come off during cleaning.
Does a bong filter smoke better than a joint?
Water filtration cools the smoke and catches some heavier particulates before they reach your lungs. According to research published in PMC, waterpipe smoke delivery can be tested under controlled conditions and does alter the composition of inhaled smoke compared to unfiltered methods (Cobb et al., 2014). It's smoother on the throat, but it doesn't make smoking risk-free.
What bowl size does the Chinese Takeout Bong use?
It comes with a standard glass bowl and removable downstem. The joint size fits standard replacement bowls, so you can swap in a different bowl piece if you prefer a larger or smaller one.
Is the chopstick mouthpiece comfortable to use?
Surprisingly, yes. The narrow tube diameter actually concentrates the draw nicely, and because it's glass, it stays cool to the touch. It feels a bit like drinking through a wide straw. Just don't bite down on it — it's glass, not an actual chopstick.
How often should I change the bong water?
Every session. Stale bong water tastes foul and starts growing bacteria within 24 hours. Fresh water every time takes 10 seconds and makes a massive difference to flavour and hygiene. There's no good reason to skip it.
Last updated: April 2026
